Relentlessly Rebel Hearted Me

Those that truly know me, know that I haven't always embraced being my father's daughter or found comfort in my own skin. I didn't always have this pistol of a mouth or the ability to be okay with being, just me. In fact, once upon a time, I was a quiet, submissive girl, that didn't know the power of her own voice. I endured what I thought was an eternity of heartache and believed my entire world would end. However, my world didn't end, and that heartache only lasted seconds compared to a true eternity. My world has continued through my darkest days and most cherished moments. I have been lost and saved more than once, each time learning each lesson intimately, understanding that it will present itself again if not. I know that understanding more intimately than the lessons sometimes. 

There have been pivotal moments that have opened doors and closed others. But each step brought me closer to becoming the woman I am today. With age comes wisdom and a perspective that allows us to see things as they are. It took me many years to be able to look in the mirror and see myself in its entirety. It has taken even longer to love that entirety, completely, unconditionally, and with no regrets. I believe that too comes with age. 

I have embraced being my father's daughter and found comfort in being just me. I have been told countless times that I am too much, or need to be taken down a few notches, yet here I am. Still standing, and still talking shit. I'm okay with being too much rather than watering myself down to be less. I have a foul mouth and can't shut the fuck up to save my life, but my heart is relentless and worth every bit of filth I say. I crave peace but make no mistake that I have forgotten the violence it took to become this gentle. I have learned the lesson of balance and understand that I cannot have one without the other.