About the Author

Relentlessly 

Rebel Hearted 

Whether I am in the zone and giving all I got as Zoey Sweete, creating beautifully written words that will either rip into you or take you on a ride into alternate dimensions, or I am the woman that is underneath Zoey Sweete, Tabetha Simpson, who is the mom, the wife, the relentlessly rebel-hearted me.

Those who truly know me know that I haven't always embraced being my father's daughter or found comfort in my own skin. I didn't always have this pistol of a mouth or the ability to be okay with being just me. In fact, once upon a time, I was a quiet, submissive girl who didn't know the power of her own voice. I endured what I thought was an eternity of heartache and believed my entire world would end. However, my world didn't end, and that heartache only lasted seconds compared to a true eternity. My world has continued through my darkest days and most cherished moments. I have been lost and saved more than once, each time learning each lesson intimately, because life will continue to present the same lesson until it is learned. 

There have been pivotal moments that have opened doors and closed others. But each step brought me closer to becoming the woman I am today. With age comes wisdom and a perspective that allows us to see things as they are. It took me many years to be able to look in the mirror and see myself in its entirety. It has taken even longer to love that entirety, completely, unconditionally, and with no regrets. That too comes with age. 

I have embraced being my father's daughter and found comfort in being just me. I have been told countless times that I am too much or need to be taken down a few notches, yet here I am. Still standing, and still talking shit. I'm okay with being too much rather than watering myself down to be less. I have a foul mouth and can't shut the fuck up to save my life, but my heart is relentless and worth every bit of filth I say. I crave peace, but make no mistake that I have forgotten the violence it took to become this gentle. I have learned the lesson of balance and understand that I cannot have one without the other. 

What was the pivotal moment that made me finally change direction rather than stay on the same path of denial and destruction? It was not just a moment, but a set of dark eyes just like mine, looking at me, with all the love and innocence, and saying, "Mommy, you don't ever smile anymore. I just want you to be happy and smile Mommy." 

How could I tell my daughter to love herself, embrace who she is and never be anything other than that, when I was unable to do the same? I had to show her by example, and practice what I preached.

And so I began the journey to being just me. Removing all the masks, all the layers, and allowed the woman underneath to be free, raw, and fucking real. I stopped being a lesser version of myself because I was too much and started being unapologically unhinged and nothing less. Those set of dark eyes were the reality check I needed and motivation to get me moving in the right direction. 

She was the beautiful wonder in my world of so many wrongs, but she was what I did exactly right. My little bit of faith, my Rylee Faith, the greatest gift I have been given and my greatest accomplishment. She's my ride or die, and my best friend. 

Without her, I would have never been able to fully love myself. She just wanted me to smile and be happy, and without loving myself completely, that would have never happened. Giving myself the love I should have all those lost years, I never got the love I wanted in return. But it's strange how balance works, and the laws of attraction. Once you start giving yourself the love and respect you deserve, the universe sends that back. I finally got the return I had always dreamed of.

My Florida boy that came to Texas just for me, and made me believe in fairytales again. He enabled my pistol of a mouth, loved that I was too much, and taught me to always find the positivity in the negativity. 

My dad once asked me during a conversation, "You meet these fellas and seem to be nice, but then shit hits the fan. Tell me buttercup, are they already crazy or do you make them that way?"

Looking at my dad, "I'm guessing I make them that way."

He smiled slyly, "Well, how bout getting one that's already crazy, might work out better in the long run."

Go big or go home...

Not only did I get one that was already crazy, I overachieved. He's split seven ways from Sunday, diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, which is commonly known as multiple personalities. The mind is a fascinating thing, it will split itself to protect itself, especially when a child experiences severe trauma. And that is how my Florida boy ended up split seven ways from Sunday. 

He is the most fun I ever had, and it's never boring being Mrs. Simpson. We have had a helluva ride together the last ten years, but regardless of what we endure, that love just doesn't go anywhere. Everything we do, we do it together or not at all, to Hell and Back. He is the glimmer of hope that fit together perfectly with my little bit of faith.

I used to think I was going in the wrong direction, just completely lost, but then I remembered something my dad used to say in times like that, "See, you're never really lost, because, wherever you go, there you are."